


emotions are prohibited

by idolatres



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 08:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12165171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idolatres/pseuds/idolatres
Summary: If they're prohibited then why were they even programmed to feel in the first place?basically a retelling of the major events of the game focusing on how 9s and 2b feel about each other.





	emotions are prohibited

  
  
    Finally being assigned with someone, after so long of working alone, he doesn't want to let her down. He wants to prove that he's capable. 9S needlessly endangering his life to save her, someone he just met. The way he can barely speak from being so damaged, his systems failing. The way his hand holds her, while she screams, the weak plea that leaves his mouth, trusting her completely. In the back of his mind he wonders why she would be so adamant about repairing him, why her voice broke at the thought of him losing his body.  
  
  
     _Emotions are prohibited_.  
  
  
    2B feeling anger, the type that overpowers everything else, and you're just running on rage. She can only focus on one thing: Destroy the enemy. It's her mission, it's her duty, but there's something else. Something else she can't talk about, she can't reveal to anyone, specially him. She reluctantly agrees to the black box program initiation. At least they're going out together. "The honor was mine." The world goes white, but it never stays that way.  
  
  
    Her jaw clenches, and she can feel it pop, the joints not used to such display of emotion. 2B digging her fingers into her palm so hard her entire fist shakes, as the boy once again forgets everything. "Glory to mankind." She seethes. Starting over with him for the hundredth time.  
  
  
   _Emotions are prohibited._  
  
  
    9S drowning her in compliments, starstruck to be working with someone like her, like love at first sight if such a thing exists. 9S constantly watching over her, committing all her idle behaviors and actions to his memory, knowing everything that makes her tick, the slightest twitch of her mouth that cues off her stance on something. He does his best to show he's capable of whatever comes their way, whatever she can throw at him, often chewing off more than he can handle.  
  
  
     _Emotions are prohibited._  
  
  
    2B staring at him, her grey eyes boring into him, concealed by the blindfold, showing that she's never truly present, mind drifting away to her worries. 2B saying Nines for the first time, the way her voice seems uncertain, drawling out the end of it, how she insists she didn't say it. Like it was taboo, a forbidden sign of affection. 2B reaching for him, her gloved hands frantic to hold his own, keeping him safe, wanting to touch him, anything. Ultimately, she retracts though, and plays it off like nothing happened. She can't get involved again.  
  
  
    9S is so eager to please her, and he's not even sure why. It's no longer just his duty, there's a part of him that genuinely _wants_ her approval, and only hers. Being with her fills him with nostalgia, like they've visited these locations before together, but he doesn't have any memories of it. He chalks it up to him not having enough bandwidth to backup his data, not wanting to think about it for too long.  
  
  
   _Emotions are prohibited._  
  
  
    9S constantly asking questions about anything and everything. Trying to absorb any and all information his bandwidth will allow. Not knowing what will happen. Forgetting everything over and over, only remembering how strong and powerful 2B is, how she's the only constant through everything. Always there in the front lines, always protecting him, always doing whatever it takes to finish the mission with the least amount of casualties. It's so admirable, he can't help but be enamored with her strength.  
  
  
  _Emotions are..._  
  
  
    2B seeing him, pinned to the wall like an animal. The poles piercing him, keeping him in place, it looks painful. Watching the man treat him like a rag doll, his hand caressing his cheek, like she often would, touching him intimately, it pisses her off. That's _hers_ , 9S is hers. No one else can touch him like that. The feeling surges through her, hatred. Wanting to destroy this man completely, kill him, watch his blood spray all over the floor, staining her sword. When she does lunge her sword into him, he laughs, she doesn't feel any comfort or solace from this. Like even in the end, he wins. She pushes it to the back of her head, now's not the time to dwell on it.  
  
  
    9S apologizing to her, like he's to blame for this, she shushes him, happy to have him back. 2B holds 9S close, carrying him, promising to take him home. Everything feels warm, right. They both feel this, like no matter whats to come, they can face it together. Feeling his body lax against her, his bodyguard, his executioner.  
  
  
  _Emotions are..._  
  
  
    2B shaking, something she never does. Her hands caressing 9S's face, as she straddles him, her fingers wrapping around his delicate neck. The way he stares at her, eyes meeting each other, knowing whats to come. She's so tired of this. Killing him, but he asked her to do it. She could never refuse him. Her fingers tighten, the grip suffocating him, and as she drains the life from his body, he smiles at her. If she had a heart she thought, it'd be long gone from the constant pain of losing him. Hearing his breathing stop, his gasps of pain, the way his body goes limp underneath her. She sobs, exhausted at their fate, cradling his dead body. She feels like she'll never escape this cycle. Constantly trying to keep him from getting close, failing, trying to make sure it never comes to her killing him again, and failing. It's too much.  
  
  
    The scattered parts around her start glowing with light, like they're sending a signal, she's confused, not completely with it. She feels so lost, nothing's real for her. But when she hears his voice coming from a machine, relief floods over her, the first time in a long time that she's genuinely been relieved and happy. 2B finally, finally smiles at him, and how bittersweet and beautiful it is.  
  
      
     _Emotions are..._    
  
  
    9S running to her rescue, fear coursing through him when he thinks she'll be corrupted. Everyone screaming in agony, 2B included. He wants to panic, wants to scream, but he buckles down and focuses. This is what he was made for. He starts hacking into them, stopping the corruption where it is. When the others start laughing, attacking them, he knows what he has to do. He clutches the black box in his hands, and reaches out to 2B again, and when they come back to in the base, he thought things would be fine. They were far from fine.  
  
  
  
    Dread overwhelming them both, as they have to fight their comrades. Their brothers and sisters, and when 2B asks for control over his unit, he agrees, knowing she's the expert here. When she sets his unit to escape though, he feels betrayed. Betrayed and terrified, as his unit flies to safety, out of his control, and he watches 2B's unit get bombarded by the enemy. He feels like his heart is sinking, his emotional wiring crashing with horror.  
  
  
  
   _Emotions are..._  
  
  
    2B's tired, the corruption seeping through her. A2 stares at her, expression unreadable. She doesn't have much time left, she never saw this outcome in a million simulations. Her being the one to die, and with no bunker, it'll be for good. She has no choice, she'll leave everything in her hands. With the last of her strength, she slams her sword into the ground, she feels like she's slipping on ice, her body not responding properly. She doesn't want to leave 9S behind, but she's so tired. Maybe finally, she can rest. "Take care of 9S for me.."  
  
      
    9S running, running so fast he feels his feet cutting into the heels of his boots. Seeing A2, with 2B's /own/ sword skewered through her. How 2B finally, finally looks _at_ him, her eyes present, finally revealing all the guilt, and hurt she carries. Her voice, finally warm, loving, saying his name, " _Nines_ ". The scream that cuts through him, how guttural and distant his own voice seems. His brain short circuits, everything goes black and white. He doesn't know how to process what's happening. Doesn't want to face the fact that 2B is dead now. He knows what he wants to do, though. He wants to kill A2. For taking the only thing that kept him grounded. Taking the one who protected him. Taking the one who made him feel cherished. Made him feel loved.  
  
  
     _Emotions are..._  
  
  
    The bunkers gone, he knows this. The fact that 2B will never come back, he'll never see her again. Never hear her voice, never fight alongside her. Never be close, never get the chance to tell her the truth. Three words, he never felt comfortable saying to her, they're worthless now. He didn't want to be repaired, he didn't want to wake up. The thanks he gives is shallow, wishing nothing more than to be with 2B again. Everything seems unfamiliar and uncertain without her around. 2B's gone, the only thing he can focus on now is revenge.  
  
  
  
    9s seeing 2B's data, seeing all their memories together, he wants to stay here forever. Looking at the time they spent together, it feels like purgatory. She's right there but out of reach. When they start to disappear before him, he panics. He doesn't want to lose them too, they're the only thing he has. He sobs, grief cutting through him like a blade, this is torture. "Don't worry 2B, I'm going to kill you now." He straddles her, the way she did to him, but he's not gentle. It's rage, the shattering of his mental state. He stabs her over and over, crying, laughing, he feels like nothing is even real anymore.  
  
  
  
    "Don't die alone." "I don't think 2B would want that." He doesn't want to reply. More than anything, he wants to die.  
  
  
     _Emotions..._  
  
  
  
    "A2", venom seeps through with his tone, the only thing that feels real, is his desire to kill her. As soon as he goes on the offense though, the opportunity is torn from him. He feels like he's boiling with rage like he'll overheat and malfunction, why can't he just have one thing. He doesn't care if it's wrong, he knows it's not healthy, and that 2B wouldn't want him to do this. There's just _no_ point in being a good person now.  
  
  
   _Emotions..._  
  
  
    He's so happy to see 2B again, but he knows its not her, but to him, it's as real as it's going to get. The truth is bitter, stinging him as it goes through his body and mind. Not taking the time to really let anything sink in. His blade cutting through all them, no thought of love in his mind. When he's damaged, his arm coming apart. He comes to next to one of her bodies. It reminds him of when they would often go down together in combat. He grabs her hand and rests it against his cheek, his eyes closing. The last sentiment he'll ever share with her.  
  
  
  
    The more he learns, the more his mind goes numb. There's nothing left, after this everything will end. One way or another, it will.  
  
  
    Humanity is extinct. He knows everything. A part of him is glad 2B isn't around now. Or should he call her 2E now? He doesn't care anymore. It's all the same now. He shouldn't be surprised that 2B was also made to keep him in the dark about the truth. What was the point in their existence? He tried to process it, trying to figure out, but he couldn't think of anything. There was **no** fucking point in his existence. They were all just puppets in a play that's been going on far too long. He's sick of it all.  
  
  
     _Emotions..._  
  
  
  
    A2 is before him, corruption taking him over, the only thing he has left, is to kill A2. The only thing that will free him from all this.  
  
  
  
    The moment his sword runs through her like she's nothing, it's euphoric, a brief respite from everything. He did it, he finally did it. He avenged 2B. He wonders if she would be happy, but he was careless, and when her sword pierces him too, a sharp pain runs through him. He writhes on the ground, gargling on his own blood, his body going through fits while his brain tries to process the pain. He looks at the back of A2 in his final moments, her hair, it almost looks like 2B. He's with her, in his final moments.  
  
      
     _..._  
  
  
    Every things gone. It's just a bright light. It takes his grief, his anger, his feelings of anxiety, washing it all away like rain, taking every feeling with it, good and bad. It's quiet. It's so heavy on him, like drowning in a sea, the waves crashing over him again and again. His body won't respond. He doesn't know what he's doing here anymore. He doesn't remember anything, and when a voice asks, "Will you come with us?" He hesitates, not knowing who or what he is anymore. Was there ever a point to anything? What was his name? Why was he created? Was there any reason for him to remain on this planet anymore? Did he have anyone who would miss him? He thinks he just wants to sleep, for a long time. Maybe forever.  
  
  
_"I'll go with you."_

**Author's Note:**

> this was practise at expressing emotions and feelings between characters bc i really struggle w that.
> 
> https://idolatres.tumblr.com/  
> 


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